25 Things to Learn Before Turning 25

This post was originally published on July 22, 2016 on But First, Lipstick blog.

Being 25 is nothing like I’d thought it’d be. I remember when I was 22 fresh out of college damaged from a break up, commuting two hours in traffic to my internship in LA, sharing an apartment with my dad and struggling on $12 an hour. I told myself things would be different if I just gave it a few years to ride the waves. I promised myself by 25 I’d be working full time, living in single bedroom apartment with a handful of men kissing my feet while I sipped Prosecco.

I thought “just give it a few years, Vic, and you’ll flourish into the boss bitch you’re meant to be.“

I’m now 25 wondering where that “Boss Bitch Vicki” might be hiding.

In retrospect, I can’t deny that during this process I learned so much from the disappointments, struggles, and celebrations and I am now coming into my own skin and recognizing what’s important and what’s not, who matters and who doesn’t, and why I still keep trucking through it all.

From my personal experience, these are the 25 things to learn before turning 25.

1. Social media sharing is one big lie and your “friends” are the biggest liars. Everyone on Instagram and Snapchat is a storyteller. Do not judge, compare, or lose confidence in yourself because social feed tells you your life isn’t special enough. Stay focused on your own goals and appreciate those simple and special moments that don’t need to be published on social media.
2. Don’t let your dissatisfaction with your body discourage you during sex. Because quite frankly he will still fuck you even if you’re not comfortable with your body. He already had an idea what you looked like before you got naked so if your rolls don’t bother him, it shouldn’t bother you. 
3. Embrace your resting bitch face without apology. Not all situations require a smile and you should feel comfortable with that.
4. Be punctual to everything. ***A characteristic I’m still learning  Running late happens… but leaving people hanging longer than ten minutes is rude. People value their time. Businesses value their time. You value your time. So be on time.
5. Accept that you won’t like certain people, and certain people won’t like you – for no good reason. You can crack jokes, bribe with food, or do cartwheels…some people just won’t like you. And you won’t gel with some people. That’s life. Accept that you won’t be well-received by everyone you cross paths with, instead of campaigning for their acceptance and vice versa.
6. Living outside your means leads to living in a tent. A pair of $200 shoes that will only be worn a few times is not the best investment if you’re still figuring out how you’re going to eat until next pay period. This is really the time to start learning to manage your money and begin saving either for a house, emergencies, or retirement. And don’t touch those savings until it will count towards a long term investment that will output a higher return.
7. Find friends you can fart in front of and keep them in your life forever. Real friends are hard to come by. The friends that count are the ones that don’t judge you, don’t compete with you, and accept you just the way you are.
8. No one else cares more about you than yourself. No one truly cares about your goals, ambitions, wants, needs, and everything else in between more than you. That said, only depend on yourself and no one else’s favors, promises, or connections. Instead prepare for the opportunities you’re seeking on your own.
9. Acquire different trades and skills. More skills make you more marketable. Learn a new language forwards and backwards, challenge your brain to a new hobby, then apply them to real life. When you’ve mastered your new found craft, start charging for it.
10. Take risks and see them through for better or worse. Your intuition may tell you to take a job out of state, transfer schools, or change your career paths. Whatever the case is, it’s a risk and the challenge is to follow through on your decision and trust your instincts when to move forward or pull back.
11. Instill good eating and exercise habits now because your twenty-something body is finite. Gravity sneaks up on women even before bearing children. Now is the time to limit the french fries and increase the cardio. Living a healthy lifestyle is easier to condition now than later when the body begins to slow down.
12. Stay away from credit cards. Credit cards are not your friend and credit reports don’t lie.
13. Travel alone and be confident in your travels as a soloist. Traveling alone forces you to tackle your fears and uncertainties head on, whether that be making friends with your hostel mates, ordering food in a foreign language, or walking the streets of an unfamiliar city alone. The confidence gained from traveling alone is monumental.
14. Setbacks are inevitable. It’s how you overcome them that shows your true character.
15. Never settle. Settling is the worst thing you can do to yourself because you’re really robbing yourself to be better, smarter, stronger and wiser. Reach for your full potential every time.
16. Value discipline over excuses. Getting started is always the hardest part but it takes more energy to make an excuse than to complete a task.
17. Find a mentor to look up to. ***Really Important Scout out mentors who you can align yourself with and model after their behaviors and habits. This mentor should be someone you check in regularly with for questions, advice, and insights.
18. Accept compliments without argument. Women tend to dumb down compliments given to them. If your friend says your hair looks nice, don’t say  “but it’s so frizzy.” A sincere compliment should be matched with a sincere “thank you.”
19. Put yourself on a pedestal and keep yourself there. You have a set of standards and they should be fulfilled, not negotiated.
20. Crying is not a sign of weakness, but of release and relief. Anger, aggression, pain, sorrow, depression, and desperation are all feelings that need to be released. Let it out.
21. Cry your last cry then make a change. The sulking will get old and you will recognize it. Cry your last cry, and make it a good one, then plan your next move without the tears.
22. Forgive your parents for their mistakes and bad decisions while raising you. Not one parent is perfect and all parents have made mistakes that are irreversible. Rather than hold grudges or repeat those mistakes, accept that parents are humans and may have not been fully prepared to handle every circumstance or obstacle while raising a family. Learn from those mistakes to set a better foundation for your future and your children.
23. Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated. #Hatersgonhate. People will look for ways to steal your shine when you’re doing good. Surround yourself in circles, relationships, and spaces where you are supported and motivated.
24. Make time to have “kid” fun. It can be as simple as watching The Little Mermaid and singing along with Sebastian. It’s these moments that bring us back to our childhood , knocking the edge off a stressful day at work. These moments of de-stress are important.
25. Read. Reading is knowledge. Knowledge is power.