29 Things I Learned Before My 29th Birthday

In four days, I’ll officially be in the last year of my twenties. It’s a little scary to think about the fact that I’ll be 365 days from the big 3-0. To be completely truthful, I wouldn’t mind being 29 forever (ha!).

My early twenties were full of uncertainty but I was full of drive. My mid-twenties were more established but in the process, my drive fizzled. Just read this blog post from 2016 – can you feel the 60 hour work weeks chipping away at my once fearless spirit?

As for my late twenties… well I’m still working on that but I will say that I’m proud of the huge leaps I made… decisions I had been too scared to follow through with before. In the process of realizing my self-worth, the last few years have been both hectic but rewarding. My confidence continues to grow, and my tolerance for B.S. is at an all time low. 

What I’m trying to say is that turning 29 feels like the beginning of an end of a great era. With that came so many lessons, and I wrote them down to share with other twenty-something-women trying to figure it all out.

In no particular order, these are the 29 things I learned before my 29th birthday.

1. Quit the job you hate and start over. Yep, I said it… because I did it. My previous career paid me very well, especially for my age, but it did not fulfill me. I put so much energy into a career I didn’t care about that I complained almost everyday about it, cried, and put on weight. So I mapped out an escape plan and turned in my resignation. I haven’t looked back since.
2. Acquire a daily mantra. “Too blessed to be stressed.” I learned this saying during the second trip I took to the Bahamas – it’s somewhat of a motto there. It’s short and catchy but it’s valid. There are things that pile on top of my already overwhelming workload that cause me stress but in hindsight, these challenges can be tackled one by one without having a meltdown. At the end of the day, I’m still blessed with my health, family, friends, and opportunities.
3. Recognize your value before you begin doubting yourself. I have to remind myself that my character is not built in peace times, but in times of chaos and conflict. And that’s when the warrior in me needs to show up and show out.
4. Free the victim in the mirror. I definitely know what it feels like to criticize myself from head to toe. And for what? It’s destructive and dumb, and it needs to stop. The girl in the mirror needs to be built up not broken down.
5. Do not check your email after 6 p.m. and on the weekend. Your job demands your attention because you’re paid to move your company forward… #facts. But your health and happiness demands your attention too… #bigfacts. Unless there’s a work emergency, your inbox can wait. And quite frankly, your occupation is part of your identity, but it does not define you.
6. Do not check your email as soon as you wake up. See #5.
7. Do not take work home on a regular basis. See #5.
8. Do not feel guilty about taking paid vacation. If you earned it, you deserve it. See #5.
9. Never sign your name to anything you don’t agree with. I regret making the mistake of signing and dating a written warning at a previous job which I admitted fault on a project. I felt completely burdened with the responsibility of the error but I also felt manipulated and silenced. From that point on, I’ve never signed ANYTHING that I didn’t agree to.
10. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. This one’s for my Type A’s. I admit, I’m a perfectionist. But being a perfectionist comes at a cost. Cost of time, energy, resources, sanity… sometimes the only thing I get in return is frustration.
11. Staying in on the weekends is totally ok. I feel the need to repeat this in capital letters. STAYING IN ON THE WEEKENDS IS TOTALLY OKAY. Not having a damn thing to do on the weekend is tranquil AF and inexpensive.
12. Throw away anything and everything that doesn’t add value to your life. I learned the Marie Kondo method when my mother and I began our home de-cluttering project. But tidying up is not just for the home. From clothes to trinkets to people, hold “it” up to your face and questions these two questions: “Does this bring value to my life?” and “Does this bring me happiness?” If the answer is no, toss it for good.
13. Time management and prioritization are key to absolutely everything. I’m a believer in to-do lists but I always seem to lose sense of what it means to prioritize certain items over others, especially when multiple things seem equally urgent. So I revamped my strategy for my daily to-do lists and organized them in three deadline buckets: “Urgent,” “Semi-Urgent,” and “Flexible.” Whatever is not finished is rolled over to the next day.
14. Say what you need to say. Cue John Mayer! It sounds like such a cliché thing you hear over and over again as an adult: “over communication is key”. But perhaps… it’s true? Over the years, I’ve found that holding my tongue leads people to assume that I’m “okay” when in actuality I’m confused, frustrated, physically exhausted, or a ticking time bomb. I’m not saying I tell everyone exactly how I’m feeling at a moment’s instance (bluffing has it’s benefits too) but there’s power in expressing what is needed or wanted when it counts instead of bottling it in.
15. Understand that life works in balance. I’m not particularly speaking of work-life balance although it could very much apply here. I’m mainly speaking on the readiness and acceptance to receive positive and negative energy, circumstances, or whatever. This goes to show that for every accomplishment, there will always be a setback. For every financial increase, there will always be a debt. For every birth, there will always be a death. This is just how the universe works. It balances everything out and we need to accept this.
16. If you start something, finish it. Other than people who chew hella loud for no reason, there’s nothing in this world that irks me more than people who say they’re going to do something, start it, and don’t finish. I am guilty of this and it drives me nuts when I don’t follow through. If it’s not going to be finished, then don’t start.
17. Only keep a few priorities in motion at one time. Just as double booking plans makes a flake and a ball dropper, so does over-booking and overlapping priorities.
18. Never start a new (addicting) show when you know you have something urgent to do. Pretty self explanatory, but if you need specifics, don’t binge Game of Thrones when you’re on a deadline.
19. See past the lies but don’t dispute them. Breaking news: People lie! But it’s not always necessary to call them out. Sometimes it’s better to just let people tell the lies they need to, roll your eyes internally, put a mental asterisk on his/her credibility, and keep it pushing.
20. Attend free courses, workshops, forums. Simple. Learn something new, network (!) and don’t pay a dime.
21. Never leave a meeting without saying something. Also simple. Why attend a meeting if you’re not going to participate?
22. Quit overcompensating. Quit apologizing. Overcompensating and apologizing are two cultural-societal-generational curses that plague many woman. *Raises hand on behalf of too many women I know including myself* Let’s break that terrible habit and make sure not to pass it around or down to other women. It’s unproductive and holds us back.
23. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Having good genes is cool and all, but gravity gives zero fucks about butts and guts. I’m not saying “get it right, get it tight” for the ‘gram, but keep active.
24. No thigh gap, no problem. Not to be biased but I connect better with women who prep their inner thighs for a hot summer day more than those who don’t… #sorrynotsorry. In all seriousness though, I’m all about promoting body positivity, especially for the size 8 and above women like me.
25. Buy a password booklet for all your online passwords. I have PLENTY of online accounts and my passwords are mostly a variation of the same password. Spare me the cyber security lecture… I KNOW you’re not supposed to do that. Nonetheless, I still forget which letter is capitalized, where the special character is, and whether I need the blood of a virgin. My password booklet comes in-handy simply for putting in the right password every time instead of needing to reset it.
26. Utilize networks. To start my 26th birthday off with a bang, a friend and I celebrated in the Philippines. I personally preferred Vietnam but my friend had friends in the Pacific islands. The outcome: hook-up’s, discounts, local access, complimentary food and overall just a damn good time. It truly is a game of what who you know, not what you know.
27. Speak with confidence in every situation. Even if you’re asking a question, ask it confidently as if by the end of the verbal exchange, you expect to have gained some better insight.
28. Try something new with your hair. After all, it’s just hair. The great thing about hair is that it grows back. I used to be so attached to my long curly hair (tangles, frizz and all), and it was something I was proud of. Then I was like… fuggit, let’s cut it off (a whole 10 inches off), and I’m still cute.
29. Become an activist. It’s intimidating to commit yourself to a social or political cause, especially when you’ve been neutral for so long. I know this feeling first hand. But current debates and discussions are hard to ignore. Whether it’s making a small donation to the Humane Society, adding a bumper sticker to your car supporting clean energy, or participating in an organized rally, your voice is valuable.

Check out my previous post: 25 THINGS TO LEARN BEFORE TURNING 25